Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Different Sides of the Same Conversation
Last night I watched The Romantics. I watched it because, well, everyone is a little more fucked up in it than I am.
Lila, the bride, played by Anna Paquin has a discussion with her groom, Tom, played by Josh Duhamel, because he is having a pre-wedding freak out. Probably has something to do with the fact he's still in love with the maid of honor. Anyhow . . .
I have definitely been on both sides of this conversation. Have you?
Tom: "Why is emotion some kind of mental illness with you?
Lila: "It is when you indulge in it all the time.
Don't you think I want to freak out?
Don't you think I want to lose my shit?
Why do you get to be the one who drinks too much, that says scandalous shit things, that has wild mood swings?
Does it ever occur to you that those are freedoms afforded to you by me?
Does it ever occur to you that my emotions are just as intense?
I just work harder to control them."
Tom: "Why? You don't have to. I wish you would lose it more."
Lila: "Who? Who should I lose it to, you?
My mom?
My brother?
You?
Take a look around you, Tom, someone got to keep their cool."
And then she screams.
Lila, the bride, played by Anna Paquin has a discussion with her groom, Tom, played by Josh Duhamel, because he is having a pre-wedding freak out. Probably has something to do with the fact he's still in love with the maid of honor. Anyhow . . .
I have definitely been on both sides of this conversation. Have you?
Tom: "Why is emotion some kind of mental illness with you?
Lila: "It is when you indulge in it all the time.
Don't you think I want to freak out?
Don't you think I want to lose my shit?
Why do you get to be the one who drinks too much, that says scandalous shit things, that has wild mood swings?
Does it ever occur to you that those are freedoms afforded to you by me?
Does it ever occur to you that my emotions are just as intense?
I just work harder to control them."
Tom: "Why? You don't have to. I wish you would lose it more."
Lila: "Who? Who should I lose it to, you?
My mom?
My brother?
You?
Take a look around you, Tom, someone got to keep their cool."
And then she screams.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Great Goal
As Cait and I were leaving behind our lovely vacation and hanging out at the airport she said something pretty spot on and wise:
"Let's find a way to make our lives feel more like a vacation."
It's a great goal. I'm aiming for it.
"Let's find a way to make our lives feel more like a vacation."
It's a great goal. I'm aiming for it.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Disney World!
Cait and I hit up two theme parks in one day (to say we were exhausted is not even close to how we felt). Here are our DW photos.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Out Loud Laughs
The part that made me laugh loud is bolded:
Turtle Bay Presents : THE BINGE! Every Thursday night we have a $20 Open Bar, every Friday morning wake up next to someone out of your league. (Turtle Bay Bar)
Look at that majestic motherfucker. Look at that nose and the little rounded ears and the fluffy blonde fur and those crazy little pudgy toes.
Fun fact about the Hyrax: it’s not a rodent.
Funner fact about the Hyrax: it’s more closely related to the rhinoceros. Oh, scientists, you crazy fuckers. (Click here for the link to the whole post with Hyrax photos via Manhattan Nest)
Ryan Gosling vs. Puppies. (Tumblr blog)
Turtle Bay Presents : THE BINGE! Every Thursday night we have a $20 Open Bar, every Friday morning wake up next to someone out of your league. (Turtle Bay Bar)
 |
| Hyrax |
Fun fact about the Hyrax: it’s not a rodent.
Funner fact about the Hyrax: it’s more closely related to the rhinoceros. Oh, scientists, you crazy fuckers. (Click here for the link to the whole post with Hyrax photos via Manhattan Nest)
Ryan Gosling vs. Puppies. (Tumblr blog)
On Happiness
I was in a not-so-great place a couple of months ago and came to the conclusion that I was scared to be happy. Sidebar: I am happy these days :)
My reason?
I don't know how I would handle it if I was unbelievably happy and it all went away.
OR
What would I do if I did everything to be happy but wasn't?
These conclusions lead to several discussions with my close friends. Some friends said that it was common fear; not unusual at all. One friend said that her father told her that she was scared to be happy/wouldn't let herself. Then a very wise friend make a valid point: that it is ridiculous.
Well, she didn't say that exactly.
She basically said that even when you are really happy and all the pieces are in place, something will still come up. That perpetual happiness is a myth. I already knew this and I needed a reminder.
I'm not scared to be happy anymore. I am also taking an active role to do things that make me happy.
Brad Pitt summed it up nicely, too (via THR):
"This idea of perpetual happiness is crazy and overrated, because those dark moments fuel you for the next bright moments; each one helps you appreciate the other," he says. "We are all searching for meaning in our lives, love and betterment for ourselves and those around us."
My reason?
I don't know how I would handle it if I was unbelievably happy and it all went away.
OR
What would I do if I did everything to be happy but wasn't?
These conclusions lead to several discussions with my close friends. Some friends said that it was common fear; not unusual at all. One friend said that her father told her that she was scared to be happy/wouldn't let herself. Then a very wise friend make a valid point: that it is ridiculous.
Well, she didn't say that exactly.
She basically said that even when you are really happy and all the pieces are in place, something will still come up. That perpetual happiness is a myth. I already knew this and I needed a reminder.
I'm not scared to be happy anymore. I am also taking an active role to do things that make me happy.
Brad Pitt summed it up nicely, too (via THR):
"This idea of perpetual happiness is crazy and overrated, because those dark moments fuel you for the next bright moments; each one helps you appreciate the other," he says. "We are all searching for meaning in our lives, love and betterment for ourselves and those around us."
You Know What's Awkward?
When you awake up, remember a dream about kissing your co-worker who happens to be your current crush and then he seeing him at the office.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
January Refrain: I'm Going to Die Alone
Back in November/December the phrase that kept repeating in my head was, "I'm so tired."
I was tired of everything. Everything.
I felt like I was never going to be not tired.
Well, I am not tired anymore but I am lonely. Not terribly lonely but it's there. That means that the new refrain in my head is, "I am going to end up dying alone."
This depressing track that is on repeat has a lot less to do with being lonely and more to do with that I can never find anyone that I want to date. I live in one of the biggest cities in the world and I never even see someone I'm interested.
Sure, there is my crush and Mr. The Time is Not Right Now but neither one of those possibilities seem to be going anywhere. Clearly, otherwise why would I be writing what I'm writing :/.
Just like the feeling of being tired seemed insurmountable, finding someone seems impossible.
This particular type of loneliness makes me a little cray cray. Like I text, say or do things that I normally wouldn't to any guy that is my hemisphere.
Then I want to slam my head against my desk. Repeatedly.
For the record, I don't actually think I am going to die alone. That's just how I feel right now.
When I do find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I am going to be so happy and so appreciative. I have been waiting for him for a long time. It's worth when it's right.
I was tired of everything. Everything.
I felt like I was never going to be not tired.
Well, I am not tired anymore but I am lonely. Not terribly lonely but it's there. That means that the new refrain in my head is, "I am going to end up dying alone."
This depressing track that is on repeat has a lot less to do with being lonely and more to do with that I can never find anyone that I want to date. I live in one of the biggest cities in the world and I never even see someone I'm interested.
Sure, there is my crush and Mr. The Time is Not Right Now but neither one of those possibilities seem to be going anywhere. Clearly, otherwise why would I be writing what I'm writing :/.
Just like the feeling of being tired seemed insurmountable, finding someone seems impossible.
This particular type of loneliness makes me a little cray cray. Like I text, say or do things that I normally wouldn't to any guy that is my hemisphere.
Then I want to slam my head against my desk. Repeatedly.
For the record, I don't actually think I am going to die alone. That's just how I feel right now.
When I do find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I am going to be so happy and so appreciative. I have been waiting for him for a long time. It's worth when it's right.
Wizarding World of Harry Potter: Take 2
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| Hogsmeade to Hogwarts |
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| Lunch! Reasonably priced and the Hogs Head Ale was really good :). |
F-ck Me!
I came back from Orlando tan, relaxed and happy. I was in a good mood today coming into the office. I mean, who ever wants to go back to work?
Anyhow, I get to the office and my crush isn't there yet. He comes in a little later but still in the morning (ok, so I swivel my head around from my desk to periodically check if he's at his desk - yes, I'm a creeper) and when I walk by he says, "Good Morning, Lauren."
He's never said good morning to me before. PROGRESS!
Instead of cheerfully replying and striking up a conversation, what did I do?
I acted like a completely abnormal person and just walked right by. It was like some sort of weird delayed response. I have no idea.
After that I sat at my desk wanting to band my head down against it. I tried, unsuccessfully, to find a way to start up a conversation again.
The most I did?
Managed to wink at him. I owed him one ;).
Anyhow, I get to the office and my crush isn't there yet. He comes in a little later but still in the morning (ok, so I swivel my head around from my desk to periodically check if he's at his desk - yes, I'm a creeper) and when I walk by he says, "Good Morning, Lauren."
He's never said good morning to me before. PROGRESS!
Instead of cheerfully replying and striking up a conversation, what did I do?
I acted like a completely abnormal person and just walked right by. It was like some sort of weird delayed response. I have no idea.
After that I sat at my desk wanting to band my head down against it. I tried, unsuccessfully, to find a way to start up a conversation again.
The most I did?
Managed to wink at him. I owed him one ;).
Monday, January 23, 2012
Wizarding World of Harry Potter: Take 1
I spent this past weekend in Orlando. I laid out poolside, got a tan (with a little burn) and WENT TO THE WIZARDING WORLD OF HARRY POTTER!!!!!
I have been wanting to go to WWofHP ever since I heard it was opening and I finally did. It is EVERYTHING that a HP fan could wish for. I took a ton of photos, so I'll split it up in a couple of posts.
I have been wanting to go to WWofHP ever since I heard it was opening and I finally did. It is EVERYTHING that a HP fan could wish for. I took a ton of photos, so I'll split it up in a couple of posts.
 |
| First official Universal sign to the WWofHP spotted |
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| Hogsmeade entrance |
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| Close up of the Hogsmeade sign |
 |
| Hogwarts! |
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| Hagrid's Hut |
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| Buckbeak! |
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Crush Update
It's not going that well.
I am not bringing my A game. At all.
It's a little awkward to find a way to talk to him because of where he sits and we don't work in a typical office with a large lunch room, employees with a similar schedule and he sits in kind of an awkward spot.
I will work myself up to talk to him then walk by his desk and not a peep comes out. Hell, half the time I walk by him like I always do - head up, eyes averted.
WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?!
I like the guy. I want to talk to him. AND I CAN'T.
He's flirted a little more but like most guys attest - men need encouragement. I do not how I am going to do that when I can barely get it together to talk him.
OY.
I am not bringing my A game. At all.
It's a little awkward to find a way to talk to him because of where he sits and we don't work in a typical office with a large lunch room, employees with a similar schedule and he sits in kind of an awkward spot.
I will work myself up to talk to him then walk by his desk and not a peep comes out. Hell, half the time I walk by him like I always do - head up, eyes averted.
WHAT IS MY PROBLEM?!
I like the guy. I want to talk to him. AND I CAN'T.
He's flirted a little more but like most guys attest - men need encouragement. I do not how I am going to do that when I can barely get it together to talk him.
OY.
So Long Christmas Tree
It's officially the end of the first week of the new year. That means good bye Christmas Tree. Thanks for hanging out. You made our holidays. You made me happy. You put a smile on my face.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
He Winked at Me
I'm eating my lunch at the one tiny ledge we have in one of the tiny kitchen areas when my crush walks in to fill up his water bottle.
In an attempt at nonchalance, I kept reading my kindle and eating my lunch.
He got my attention by saying, "Hey Lauren, I didn't wish you a Happy New Year yet. Happy New Year."
I swiveled around when he said my name and caught a wink at the end.
I can't believe he winked at me. Who does that?
If I knew him better, I would totally call him out. Instead I replied with a smile, "Happy New Year to you, too."
Replaying this interaction makes me grin :) and giggle a little bit. I'm glad he winked.
In an attempt at nonchalance, I kept reading my kindle and eating my lunch.
He got my attention by saying, "Hey Lauren, I didn't wish you a Happy New Year yet. Happy New Year."
I swiveled around when he said my name and caught a wink at the end.
I can't believe he winked at me. Who does that?
If I knew him better, I would totally call him out. Instead I replied with a smile, "Happy New Year to you, too."
Replaying this interaction makes me grin :) and giggle a little bit. I'm glad he winked.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
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