Back in November/December the phrase that kept repeating in my head was, "I'm so tired."
I was tired of everything. Everything.
I felt like I was never going to be not tired.
Well, I am not tired anymore but I am lonely. Not terribly lonely but it's there. That means that the new refrain in my head is, "I am going to end up dying alone."
This depressing track that is on repeat has a lot less to do with being lonely and more to do with that I can never find anyone that I want to date. I live in one of the biggest cities in the world and I never even see someone I'm interested.
Sure, there is my crush and Mr. The Time is Not Right Now but neither one of those possibilities seem to be going anywhere. Clearly, otherwise why would I be writing what I'm writing :/.
Just like the feeling of being tired seemed insurmountable, finding someone seems impossible.
This particular type of loneliness makes me a little cray cray. Like I text, say or do things that I normally wouldn't to any guy that is my hemisphere.
Then I want to slam my head against my desk. Repeatedly.
For the record, I don't actually think I am going to die alone. That's just how I feel right now.
When I do find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I am going to be so happy and so appreciative. I have been waiting for him for a long time. It's worth when it's right.
I was tired of everything. Everything.
I felt like I was never going to be not tired.
Well, I am not tired anymore but I am lonely. Not terribly lonely but it's there. That means that the new refrain in my head is, "I am going to end up dying alone."
This depressing track that is on repeat has a lot less to do with being lonely and more to do with that I can never find anyone that I want to date. I live in one of the biggest cities in the world and I never even see someone I'm interested.
Sure, there is my crush and Mr. The Time is Not Right Now but neither one of those possibilities seem to be going anywhere. Clearly, otherwise why would I be writing what I'm writing :/.
Just like the feeling of being tired seemed insurmountable, finding someone seems impossible.
This particular type of loneliness makes me a little cray cray. Like I text, say or do things that I normally wouldn't to any guy that is my hemisphere.
Then I want to slam my head against my desk. Repeatedly.
For the record, I don't actually think I am going to die alone. That's just how I feel right now.
When I do find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I am going to be so happy and so appreciative. I have been waiting for him for a long time. It's worth when it's right.
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