Timing Can Suck It

I believe that timing is important; hell half the time it is key.

Whether it factors into moving, work, school, people. events, friends, so on and so forth, I've always believed that it matters and can make a difference.

But lately I think that Timing Can Suck It.

I search for meaning in my life. I don't think that is unusual.

Sometimes I search for meaning in the smallest of incidents.

Sometimes I search for meaning in the biggest of incidents.

Sometimes I believe that timing, however seemingly insignificant, means something. That maybe, this time, thinking of someone at the same time he texts you or running into him when you least expect it or missing him on the phone for months but suddenly being able to get a hold of him or having a great time with him as if it was yesterday instead of several months ago, means something. Just maybe the two of us are meant to be.

But lately, I'm starting not to believe in any of that.

Maybe nothing is a sign.

I have a hard time finding someone that I have a spark with. Let alone someone I find myself remotely attracted to.

There are plenty of decent looking guys in NYC but none that I think are actually cute. Or spark with.

Side note: a definite improvement over Seattle where I never found anyone whom I thought was decent looking.

So when I find someone I think about a lot and I find him attractive and we manage to see/run into each other and I become hopeful.

Maybe it is meant to be.

Then it becomes unarguably clear that the TIMING ISN'T RIGHT.

Boys & Girls: Same Story Decades Later

It's funny because I think that men and women are equals about life and sex but it's proven to me again and again that my thoughts don't hold true to the general consesus.
The last couple of guys I've dated STILL don't understand that:
For one: Girls can date without wanting to get serious.Turns out that is exactly want some of us very much want. Me very much included.

For two: A one time thing as it is for them is the SAME as it is for us. Again, I am very much included in this. And when guys think we want so much more - it truly pisses me off. Like A LOT.

For three: Women can really enjoy sex WITHOUT expectations. Hell, sometimes that is all that I want.
Maybe it's just me, except I know it's not because I have girlfriends who feel the same way - us women get it and like it when it's just fun and just a fling :). I couldn't be happier but it makes me outraged that guys don't get it.

And I hate having to explain myself.